I’ve christened this hour of the day Blogtime, for at least this week. It is the hour post workout pre-shower where I cool down and enjoy the puddle of endorphins generated by that most miraculous of events – the workout. I can’t quite believe that I’ve kept up with them but there it is, today clocked in #96 of the year. Reached a big tipping point recently whereat I discovered that regardless of how grumpy and tired and disinclined to workout I was upon arrival at home, I found that if I gave into the grumps and played couch barnacle, that I felt worse about my day. I don’t ever want to feel worse about my day. I keep thinking back to what Apollo Ono said about coming back for these last Olympic games – something to the effect that before he closes his eyes to sleep every night he asks himself the question – did I do everything I could today to reach my goal?
On one hand that is a lot of pressure to put on yourself every day which is likely one of the reasons so few of us are Olympians. But in the larger scheme of things I have often pondered the elements of a perfect day for me and it is shockingly easy to achieve. A little of this, a little of that, little work, little play, little self-care, little love, little plain old goofing off.
Today started late last night. Both Hoosie and the Producer are enjoying the Banff World TV Festival 2010 and I heard from both of them. The Producer has a sci-fi producer he is going to hook me up with who is looking for writers, so if it works out I guess I’ll have to give him a finders fee. Hoosie texted me late and we did a long string till I told him to just call me, my thumbs were getting tired and I need my thumb strength for writing, not texting. We had a weird and wonderful Pajama Game conversation but somehow I think I was playing the Rock Hudson role. Hmmmm. So totally screwed my sleep hygiene of course since after hanging up I couldn’t get to sleep. I really can’t talk to anyone or email them for like an hour and a half before sleep, sensitive delicate thing that I am. The brain won’t turn off – I just keep thinking about the person and the conversation. Need better filters I guess.
Did get out of bed before noon, did do laundry, did groceries, did the gym, did the reading did a tiny bit of housework, lots of guitar and so far 3 pomodoros of writing on Conflict of Interest. More writing planned tonight with the World Cup as energy booster playing low in the background. So the writing the part where I realize that I really might be crazier than even I think I am. I was trying to decide what project to work on and the mental conversation went something like this.
“You should work on Rain Girls.” “Yeah but I’m in the mood to work on Conflict.” “Fine, then email the Cossack and see if he’ll buy you a pity drink over the two of you not being in Banff and then pitch him the story.” “Ah, no, I’m sure he’s busy and I don’t want to full out pitch it till I have something to show.” “Pretty sure two days work will get it showable.” “You know you’re right, I’ll do a set of pomodoros on Rain Girls – that’ll kick it along without getting close to the worry of finishing it.” “Worry of finishing it? Frack and golly bejesus, we aren’t here again are we? Okay I guess we are. You want to work on the script that has the least amount of interest and therefore the least amount of internal pressure. ARRRRGGHH!” “Seriously, what I am going to do with this fear of finishing thing you’ve decided you have.” “Help me figure out a way to believe I’m over it? Hey you manage to trick yourself through a workout nearly every day – figure out how you’re doing that and apply it.” “Hmmm. Pretty good advice from someone certifiable.” “Thanks. I try.”
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