Sight Reading Sucks

I had to untwist the guitar strap tonight. It is at moments like that which force me to stop my hell bent for leather stampede to self-destruction and untwist. I wonder where that comes from “hell bent for leather”. No matter. This eve finds me in a bad, bad, bad mood. The kind of mood where it really should be illegal for me to write a blog post. The kind of mood which my heirs of the next century will find a treasure trove of files under “blog” with the screaming after title “NOT POSTED”.

Have I mentioned how much I hate sight reading music? Closely followed by the tick of the metronome? I tell ya, if that metronome function hadn’t been on my iPhone but rather on a real metronome – that fracking thing would’ve been thru the window days ago. Yah. I know sight reading is good for me in the same way that broccoli is good for me. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, and I don’t. So be warned I just sight read 4 pieces of music badly and feel like the stupidest piece of dog doo in the neighbourhood. Have I improved after a week of this scratching a fork along the inside of my thigh? Not in the slightest. I also still hate broccoli after nearly 40 years of choking it down so go figure.

And yes, thank you I know what I should be doing right now and what I should be writing and yet I’m not. I am sitting here wearing glasses smeared with what? That have just been freshly masking taped together and so I suddenly find myself facing that what shall I do? New glasses or new contact lenses? Both needed and now with the glasses held together with masking tape – just not a very impressive look. Thus a component of my cranky. Money for one, not for both. I must chose style over function – look at me on the horns of a dilemma. I also don’t know where that comes from, but boy it works for me.

By the way, who knew that spell check recognizes a correct way to spell “crankiness”?

Now, as I try and figure out what to do next. What I can do that will make me happy and shift this black mood? All choices don’t appeal. I don’t want to eat or drink or sleep or bathe or clean up or play guitar or read or watch TV or write or listen to music. And did I mention the guy across the hall flooded his place and the restoration dudes are running noisy fans at a quarter of ten? The thing I do want to do is not PG thirteen and not available to me tonight anyway, since I have to save my cash for new glasses.

Alright. I’m going to brush my teeth, drink some water and browse crazy expensive jewelry web sites. Followed by a search for a very high-end men’s white dress shirt that might fit me – but must have French cuffs.Why? Is a topic for another blog. Then lights out but not until I list 50 things I feel grateful for. Sort of letting me off easy because between the immediate family (10) book club (5) work peeps (8) sisters of the pen (17) flash forward peeps (4) and biz peeps (4) I think I’m there, oh and how could I forget my former co-worker/client posse – (15) okay getting silly now.

Opps. Was that a little smile trying to take over the corners of my mouth? I believe it was.