It’s fracking snowing

Not kidding. Of all the weather planned for, snow was not in the forecast. I even checked the forecast. Of course NOW the forecast says snow, but for tomorrow, for the golf tourney – Tee Hee. And wireless Wi-Fi for again, off course I am thinking this caliber hotel, of course they have Wi-Fi. And they do, but only in the public spaces. And not free. Looks like 13 bucks per 24. Via cable in the rooms but of course with my sexy new laptop IT CAN’T PLUG in an Ethernet cable without an adapter. Cool really, forces me to sit in one of the glorious lounges instead of my garret room and interface with people. So far the bartender hates me. He was not amused by my opening banter and detailed instructions on a martini my way. Good thing this is not his regular post. Hopefully the regular gets Carolynne cause this lounge is easy staggering distance to my room and located between the conference center and my room. Not that I’m plotting anything, and those of you who think I am, can just get your minds back on message. I am here to advance my career with my brilliance, charm and wit. Oh, and my writing, how could I forget. Though I did have an interesting phone call from the young lad at the front desk at the Holiday Inn last night. Okay, don’t panic. Not going anything further with that line of thought.

Astonishing but the bartender really is not getting my charm. Those of you who know me long time will also be astonished. Charming serving staff is most definately part of my core skill set. So I dialed it way back and ordered some food. Might as well have been ordering an oil change. So to be pissy I gave him a very specific and complex food and bev order. Guy is really cute in a very buttoned down banker kind of way. Hopefully he smells tip and gets the nuts and bolts right cause he ain’t getting tipped on the fantasy, that’s for sure.

Love, love, love the hotel though. Even though the valet and the bell man had way more charm than the bartender. Irony of ironies I was ready to tip both of them handsomely, even been saving up my fives and tens for a couple weeks. Alas, on check-in I was told only to tip the food and bev staff. Nice chat with Sam at the desk who told me a little star struck story about almost meeting Kim C. last year. Told her Kim was lovely but I had my sights set on Paul Gross. “Oh, yes”, she gushed. The bell man not only delivered my luggage about 2 minutes after I got to the room but showed me all the bells and whistles, commiserated with my Wi Fi issues and then rushed out to get me a bucket of ice after treating my guitar like the Holy Grail. I like that. He cant’ know that I play like a mitten wearing pelican, so I like that he treats it as if I just might be brilliant at it.

Okay, bartender smells tip and gave me his patented-charm-the-cougar smile. Little does he know that this cougar has a nose for sincerity. I love to be lied to if the lie is pretty. Just lie to me really well, because I reward the effort, regardless of my cynicism as to the validity of the sentiment that you are purportedly expressing.

Back to the hotel. It really and truly is one of the world’s great ionic hotels. In truth I am as excited by staying here as I am about the festival. I think I may just wander around tomorrow a.m. and look at things. I have a Rookie Reception at 3:30 I think. Just realizing though that it is already 8:45 local time and I am at least 5 hours from beddy bye. Excited! You bet. I will likely type until the hand says NO.

Had the scallop appetizer nice. Didn’t realize it was a risotto, other wise wouldn’t have ordered. Well executed but one thing that North Americans really don’t get about Italian food. I want an anti pasti, pasta, and an entrée – can’t do it at a NA version of Italian food. Portions are too big. Funny hah hah I complained about that at the Galiano Inn too. Yup, big yuks for the kitchen staff, the big woman complaining the portion sizes are too big. But you know what? They are! I want to sample many textures and flavours if I am paying premium price! And not feel like I need a stretcher to get home. Carbonnara is okay but not if you’ve been to Italy. It should be smaller and richer. My neighbour was very impressed with his pizza. Though he has thrown a couple random “wows” out to the room when the bartender is absent. Frack. He just did it again. Mmmm wine is sooo good though. That is a real Piedmont wine and with a little garlic and proscuttio on the tongue is heaven. Villa Antinori – Toscana 2005.

Now I am in the large alcove outside my room with a sideboard and two couches and tables. Plus wi-fi and power so I think I’ll just prop the room door open and make this my office. This place is creepy in a super sexy way. Beamed ceilings, tons of really expensive fake silk plants. Lighting that would make Joan Rivers look 22. There is a faint Steven King’s “The Shining” vibe going on, but mostly, is just sexy.

I’ll try and post some pics with this - let’s see if I can master the intricacies of iPhoto and a blog post after 2 martini’s and a glass of very nice Barolo. I'm in this weird little wing that only has six rooms and I appear to be the first one checked in as I've been phaffing about in the lounge area for more than an hour and haven't seen a soul.

Things to do tomorrow. Learn how to spell proscuitto. Sleep late. Check out pool. Figure out what to wear for the Rookie reception. Enjoy every single second.